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The new year always seems to highlight the areas in our life that need shaping up or simply changing, from a nightmare boss, constantly being broke, falling off the wagon when it comes to your diet and a non-existent love life!

And then there’s the many reasons, that hold us back from tackling and addressing these problems. Be it your job, family commitments or just lacking the confidence to make that change.

What you need is someone to tell you straight, Live Like You Give A F**K, (I’m not being rude, that’s the title!) This book shows you how to create the future you want, not the one that’s been shoved down your throat. It will shake and wake you from the hypnosis of modern living and your #firstworldproblems. The triple shot of empowerment, confidence and motivation will unleash the badass in you. Nicola Findlay is the straight-talking, bold, coaching diva who isn’t afraid to tell it like it is. If you ask her advice about your lame partner she’ll give you a bitch slap, tell you to raise your standards and get rid of that loser. She’s your best friend, your enemy, your punchbag and your cheerleader. Some people call her a diva, some people call her a badass bitch but whichever you decide you will get results. She’s basically that friend who always tells you straight, no matter how blunt or painful it is to hear, you know that friend that is slightly intimidating but who you respect more than anyone else! That’s Nicola!

Divided into life accessories —from self-love to goals and JFDI (Just F**king Do it!)— Nicola shares her life philosophies and forces readers to actively engage throughout the book with entertaining, interactive and thought provoking exercises. Whether you’re eighteen or eighty-three, Live Like You Give A F**K is the perfect kick up the backside life companion that will leave you with a fresh, and fierce, sense of motivation and excitement for your next adventures and realise that you too are a goddess who deserves whatever she wants in life.

So slam on the brakes, kick off your heels and unplug from the social media circus. Stop Surviving – Start Thriving. Live Like You Give A F**K!

Nicola has kindly shared her four top tips and some inspiring words. For more information on Nicola please visit www.nicolafindlay.co.uk and why not follow Nicola on Instagram nicolafindlaytcd

One of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself is that of putting yourself first. It outwardly appears to be a purely selfish concept however it’s not just you that benefits but also those closest to you.
Many of the women I know struggle with the concept of ‘putting themselves first’. It’s so easy to put their job, partner, family, kids, house, pets and anything else with a heartbeat (and without) first. So, they end up putting their own needs way down at the bottom of the ‘to do’ list and inevitably these needs never get met.
You need to decide if you want to be emotionally abundant or emotionally bankrupt. Think of your well-being just like a bank account. Do you want an account that’s lacking in deposits which means when you need to make a withdrawal it’s impossible because it’s empty? Or would you prefer to treat yourself like a healthy, abundant bank account at Coutts? Here you make regular deposits to your health and well-being, you’re feeling amazing and high on life and your balance continues to grow and explode. With an abundant account, you have plenty of well-being, patience, security, happiness, and fulfillment for yourself and there’s more than enough to pass around to the ones you love. If you love yourself first and make yourself a priority everything else in your lovely life will excel because you’ll be firing on all cylinders and stepping out like a badass into the world. The more you invest in yourself means the more you’ll have to give to others, and the more you give, the more you will receive.

Here are my top four tips on how to put yourself first.

1. Value yourself

You’re not going to put yourself first if you don’t think you belong in the Number one spot. Take the time to really appreciate why you’re an amazing person. What have you done that makes you proud? What accomplishments have you achieved? How do you help and influence other people’s lives? What would be missing on this planet if you weren’t here?
So you see, you are important. This mindset change will kick-start the ignition to enable you to really put yourself first. Without this shift you won’t think you’re worthy enough and will keep living in lack.

 

2) The Power of No

If you really want to put yourself first the biggest thing you need to harness is the power of saying no. You might feel like you don’t have the time to put yourself first but the truth is we’re all spending way too much time, energy and effort on saying yes when we’d rather say no. At the end of a hectic work week, you’re exhausted and looking forward to heading home. Then someone in the accounts department asks if you’re coming out for Lucy’s leaving drinks. That’s the last thing on earth you want to do, but somehow you hear yourself saying yes as if you’re a puppet on a string. You feel bad if you don’t go as it is Lucy’s last day and the social pressure is on because everyone else is going. So you drag your sorry ass to drinks and spend money you didn’t want to spend, drink alcohol you didn’t want to
drink and get to bed late when you were desperate for an early night.
You’ve chosen to put Lucy and your work colleagues first instead of yourself, and who now is going to suffer because of it? You. A relaxing evening, away from shop talk, enjoying some delicious food and an early night was what your body really craved. So how do you say no? Firstly, use the delay tactic to avoid giving an immediate response. Say you need to check with your partner or diary and you’ll let them know. Secondly, use that space to listen to your gut, instinctively you’ll know the right answer. Thirdly, have the confidence to deliver your answer without too many bullshit excuses. You’re an adult who doesn’t need to justify their decision making to anyone, so a simple; ‘No thanks, I can’t make it’, or ‘I’m busy’ is fine.

 

3) Non negotiables

We live in an age where everyone is so busy. It’s almost like a badge of honor. We’re all busy juggling work, study, hobbies and family, I get it, but are you making the space and time to do the things you really love? The things that fill you up, the things that ignite your passion, the things that you yearn for in your soul? Prioritise space for these things in your life and you’ll be happier as your needs are being met first instead of last.
It might be that art class you’ve meaning to do since last year. Or you loved dancing Salsa on holiday but you’ve never done it home. Perhaps you want to dust off that camera you got for Christmas last year and start doing photography or sign up for that spin class.
In any given week, I’ve got my daughter to look after and work calls and meetings but I make it must to train with my personal trainer, volunteer and write. These things affect who I am and I feel less of a person without them in my life. Once you’ve decided what they are, schedule them in your diary as an appointment. Assign some non-negotiables in your week or month to give back to yourself and make you feel more alive.

4) The Art of Self Care

The ultimate form of putting yourself first is actually taking care of this sacred vessel that your in called your body. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no vegan, buddha chanting, yoggy. I love a pizza and prosecco night like the best of them. But I do respect and care for my body on a regular basis because it functions better when I do. Take the time to try and test what works well for your body and what doesn’t. Some people can function on less sleep and no exercise but if I don’t get my 8 hours and work out, I feel miserable. So I’ve had to ditch the ‘scrolling through social media before bed’ routine so that I get enough sleep and set my alarm a bit early so I’ve got time to workout. Self-care can also include those lovely treats that often feel like indulgences such as a massage, getting your hair done or even a hot
bubble bath with a chilled glass of wine.
What do you need to change in terms of sleep, nutrition, and exercise that would give you more energy and vitality? And what fun indulgences can you add to week or month that would make you feel awesome? Once you make these kinds of changes instead of feeling sluggish you’ll feel incredible and that will have a massive impact on the rest of your life.

‘You really feel the wealth when you start to love yourself’

 

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